5 things you probably didn't know about deafness

Whenever I meet someone new, I am always reluctant to tell the person that I am deaf. In fact, I try to avoid it if I can! But I am fine if they ask me directly. Weird child I am, right?

Well, being someone who has grown up as a deaf person, I have gotten all sorts of reactions and unfortunately, met some pretty ignorant people (some of them my own friends!).

So I thought judging from this ignorance I have experienced, I would point out 5 things that people probably didn't know about deafness. 

I have done a youtube video on my channel discussing this, with a surprise appearance from my brother, so go over and check it out! Link: http://youtu.be/32M9sPBZKG0

1. Umbrella Term

It is a common misconception that using the term ‘deaf’ to describe a person means they have no hearing whatsoever. The term ‘deaf’ actually encompasses a range of hearing impairments. Mild hearing loss like glue ear, severe like myself, and profound hearing loss where the person has no hearing at all; these ranges of hearing loss all fall under the term ‘deaf’.

Also a little tip, if someone describes themselves as ‘deaf’ then do NOT correct them under any circumstance. DO NOT say that they have a ‘little problem’ or that ‘you are not deaf because you can still hear me’. I had both of these said to me, the latter in a much more rudely put and oppressive way (like their opinion was being forced on me), and actually if the person who said the latter to me hadn’t walked away completely unfazed that he was incredibly rude, I would have punched his face and hopefully broke his nose (yes, guys, I was THAT pissed off). If a person describes themselves as ‘deaf’ then that is their identity, and everyone knows it is wrong to take away someone’s identity because of your own ignorant opinion.

I think I got that rant off my chest…

2. Exhausting

This is a little tougher to explain because very few people actually understand what I mean.

I have always described my hearing ability, as in what I can hear, like a radio. Whenever you are trying to tune a radio to your favourite station, you have to go through all these frequencies with static and white noise, and sometimes if you listen you can hear snippets of music or people speaking through the noise when you get close to a station. That is kind of what my world is like. Because I can’t hear everything, what is left of my hearing overcompensates and takes in every single sound it can at the same time. So basically, I have this barrage of sounds I have to mentally filter through and with the aid of lipreading, I can get a general sense of what is being said. Though most times I am actually wrong and I just make a complete fool of myself. 

Anyway, because of all this, my brain has a different set of pathways in reference to interpreting sound and as such, has to work harder than the average person. Sometime I will be slow to respond to a sound, especially if someone is talking quickly, which can make it seem like I haven’t heard the person (but in reality I am mentally figuring out what the person has said). My brain will automatically pick up as much sound as it can, but I have to focus on people’s lips to know what is being said. Therefore my brain uses a lot of energy to understand what people are saying, and uses even more energy when in a very busy place or general social situation. When I have been hanging out with friends all day or gone to a house party or out to drinks, I will tend to crash and burn sometime after midnight. It usually depends how much conversation I’ve been exposed to, if it’s light then it won’t be until 1 or 2 in the morning, but if I’ve had to converse all day or focus hard in a very noisy situation, then it’s usually about midnight. It’s one of the reasons why I have never been able to do an all-nighter and why out of my friends, I tend to be the first to sleep at sleep-overs. I am just so mentally drained.

3. Invisible

There are no outward signs that a person is deaf, it is not visible. You could walk down a street and pass a number of deaf people and never realise that they are deaf. Not all deaf people wear their aids, and not all deaf people sign. I don’t wear my aid because I tend to be plugged into my music most of the time, and I definitely have very little knowledge of sign language. I can maybe hold a small, general conversation for a few minutes but that is roughly my limit, at the moment.

Despite this, you cannot assume that someone is deaf by the way they look or sound, and you cannot assume the opposite either. If I got a penny every time someone has said to me “you don’t sound deaf”, I’d be a rich woman by now. In fact, I am convinced I lost a job opportunity because the interviewer thought I was lying about my deafness, and it was written all over his face that he didn’t believe me (before anyone says anything, I know exactly how to interpret facial expressions after 21 years, thank you). I realise that my near perfect speech confuses everyone, but…

…how the hell is a deaf person supposed to sound?

4. Socially Isolating

Like I mentioned in the video, our society is largely built around the ability to hear. We converse using sounds, we use telephones and mobiles to make calls to people everywhere, heck even the gossip vine is pretty much only accessible to those who can hear (as it is largely maintained through over-hearing information). For example if this dialogue were to happen (likely to happen to me):

Hearing Person: “Hey! Where were you on Friday? You missed an awesome party!”

Deaf Person: “There was a party on Friday night?”

Hearing Person: “You didn’t know? Come on, everyone knew! We all heard Charlie tell Stephanie that Elise invited everyone to it!”

Key word in the last sentence there is “heard”. The deaf person was unable to hear the announcement and as such was unwittingly excluded from a social event. It’s also the same as the “nevermind” point I made in my last deaf post. When a deaf person asks you to repeat what you have said, so they can keep up with the conversation, and you have replied “nevermind” because you didn’t want to repeat yourself actually makes the deaf person feel very excluded and isolated. Some of my friends used to do this a lot (and still do sometimes) and I always used to feel very left out of our group.

It’s not a nice experience.

5. You may join us in the future

Well there is the general knowledge that people typically lose their hearing as they grow older (and it is certainly the main association with the term “deaf”) and yes, you may be one of those lucky people! As everyone knows, when you grow older, your cells are unable to replace itself as effectively and they deteriorate. Therefore your ears are unable to process sound as well as it used to.

Also, thanks to whole generations of kids listening to music too loudly, you will likely join us! Listening to music at or higher than 85 decibels for long periods of time, damages the little hairs in your ears (cilia) and your eardrum. In fact, earphones and headphones are the perfect breeding ground for bacteria (which is why you shouldn’t share your ear/headphones with anyone and why I certainly cannot) and can be the cause of ear infections. 

Others things such as shooting and boxing can also contribute to hearing loss, due to trauma on the ear. In boxing there are boxers with “cauliflower ear” which its namesake really describes. The ear can take quite a beating in boxing, and as a result it swells. If the ear is hit enough times, this becomes permanent and can cause hearing issues. In shooting, if you do not wear adequate ear protectors, the sounds of the shots going off can cause your eardrum to erupt and as a result you will lose your hearing (temporarily). If exposed to this noise over a constant period of time, you can lose your hearing permanently.

Do not despair if you do lose your hearing! Sure at the time you are probably thinking your life just got a lot more limited but in reality, we can do the same things as hearing people can. We just need a little extra help sometimes or do things in a slightly different way to benefit ourselves. Phones for example, I have a passionate hate for phones as I can’t always understand people through them.

Just enjoy life, regardless if you are able or not able to do things.